I have a huge man-crush on Will Smith. He’s smart, sexy, tall, and knows how to work a room. More importantly, he stars in one of my favorite chick flicks, Hitch (I watch this movie once every couple months… don’t judge). The plot of the film consists of Hitch (Smith) coaching insecure men to be able to get the girl of their dreams. Through mentoring and manipulation of the female mind, he uses techniques to educate these men to get what they want. An opportunity to find love easier. I use a similar technique to find love opportunities. Not just in a romantic way, but in a way where you can enjoy human connection around you. And below is the most important step…
– BODY LANGUAGE –
I suggest youtubing the first 2 min of Hitch, the opening scene. If not, here is the most relevant quote to today’s lesson,
Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means that ninety percent of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.
Now, none of these stats come from any particular study. In fact multiple studies actually show you that it’s closer to 60%. But the more I go out, the more it seems true.
The way you tilt your head towards someone, your body stance, how you mimic a person’s behavior or react to a comment purely based off of your physical demeanor can make a difference between getting the job and not getting the job. Making a great impression or making a poor impression on a new acquaintance. The one date to two dates.
When I walk up to a bar (I’m twenty in the US) it is rare for a bouncer, cashier, person of authority to card me. Why? Because my body language doesn’t have a hint of insecurity. I walk up smiling, relaxed, asking them how their day is going. Everytime I enter an age limit venue whether that’s a bar, concert, or club, I legitimately have faked my thought process to believe I was actually 22. My body language in line with my mindset.
My dad has a couple of suggestions he gives on communicating with coaches to earn a spot on any high school, club, or college team. He states that your body language is extremely important on getting a coach to like you. Your body language should resemble a “teacher’s pet.” He tells his listeners there are three things coaches look for in players when they communicate with you.
- Look the coach in the eye when he is talking to you.
- Nod your head and smile to make sure they understand you are listening and enjoying the words that are coming out of their mouth.
- Have a forward tilt to your stance. Making sure you have the appearance of giving them your full attention.
These 3 clues are universal to getting anything you want. You want to try to make your energy so vibrant that people can’t ignore you. They are forced to like you. The only thing between you and what they can give you is their own insecurity, not yours.
If you need more coaching in confidence, there are dozens of Youtube videos on this subject. Janine Driver’s “10 ways to use body language to get what you want” is a great on